Change turns out to be the most consistent thing in the last five years of my life. In those five trips around the sun I have become a wife, a 1st time mommy, and then a mommy of two. I’ve lived in 2 countries, 5 cities, and 7 homes. This season of my life has been marked by big changes.
There is a book in the Bible, Ecclesiastes, that tells us, “For everything there is a season, a time, place, and purpose underneath the sun.” And that should be reassuring—right? Good or bad, change is supposed to be coming—soon. And while we wait for the next shift in our world, we are supposed to be content.
I’d love to think that I gracefully sail upon the waves of change, but those waves often get so big they blot out my perspective upon what I know to be true: who I am, and how I want to live. So many times my type A personality, coupled with a variety pack of OCD nervous ticks seems to be my personal recipe to keep me from drowning in what can seem like the stormy, lonely sea of change. And there are points where it seems like I’ll always be pulled and tossed upon this treacherous sea with no sight of land, all the while craving glassy waters, calm breezes, and rhythm. And yet, my heart still craves the adventure brought to me by the big waves of constant uncertainty. And thus—the tension I live between.
Being a follower of Jesus means I am constantly moving – ever attuned to His movements. Wanting to be so close to His footsteps that the dust from His steps covers me. And then at the same time, I am learning to abide in Him—to be still. That lingering in Him, with myself, and with others is the remedy for my restless heart.
It was early this year that we felt God was calling us out of Texas and into our home, although we had no clue where that ‘home’ would be. We dreamt of a life of space and wilderness for our family. We dreamt that we would be entangled in a community that we could do life with. We yearned for a church where we could both use our gifts to partner alongside others to love God with everything we had and to love others the same.
And so, here I am, in another monumental transition, having moved across the country, to a new church, and to a new community. And instead of gearing up for a battle with a to-do list of epic propositions, my heart is resting. Because, my friends, I have the confidence that we are home. I have peace and assurance that this season of my life will be marked by abiding. Abiding with new friends on back porches and around dinner tables. Abiding during playtime with my children and in sharing a cup of coffee with my husband. Here in Reno. Here at Grace. Here with you.
Jesus made a way for me, like He does for you. He doesn’t want your heart to be engulfed by seas of torment – He wants for you to live into the promise that He has plans to prosper you, not to harm you, to give a hope and a future. A home in Him where your soul can abide and find rest.